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Can you imagine her as a mother? God help us. Alice: maybe that’s one of the details he’s missed out - he’s not really gone into the safe sex stuff. Jamie: That’s the thing. We’ve taken these books and made them into a comedy thing, but they were written to arouse. So I don’t really think he was thinking about safe sex - he just wanted people to get down. James: We had an email from another erotic writer at one point telling us to stop being so hard on him and that this was actually quite good. It was probably Rocky. Alice: “Ricky Flontstone. Which character do you each most relate to? Jamie: Relate is a very strong word. Alice: I think Helga. We’re kindred spirits. I feel like she’s put upon, she just does her job to the best of her abilities and nobody appreciates her. Jamie: Ok, http://tubetria.mobi Alice! I think James probably thinks he’s Peter Rouse. James: I was going to say one of the women! Alice: He’s Belinda! Jamie: Maybe Gisele. You’re quite stately. Alice: Maybe greasy-lipped Gregor Kalanski. Jamie: That’s who I’m most similar to! I do sell champagne in bulk. James: Why him? He’s the greasy Russian! Jamie: Well, most of the characters are women, it’s mostly lesbian sex, and most of it is about women - another reason why this is quite a feminist book. The men are very much syphers. Alice: What about the one that shaved her head who’s the singer? Jamie: You want me to be Chantelle? You want me to start singing “A Walk in the Black Forest. What’s the cast list for the film so far? Jamie: Elijah Wood’s playing the youngish man. Daisy Ridley’s the Duchess. Michael Sheen’s Dr Robbins, he was very excited about that.
Thomas Middleditch wanted to be Dr Robbins too, so they’ll have to fight for that. Rachel Bloom wanted to be Jim Sterling in prosthetics. Alice: There are so many bit parts that could steal the show. Adaam in the shop, for example. Jamie: I can just imagine that when this film happens, all ten of the supporting actor and actress nominees at the Oscars will be people from this book. James: It’s the next La La Land. Who would you want to play each of you? Jamie: Maybe Jonah Hill? Alice: Could I be Kristen Wiig… in a wig? James: I have no idea. Alice: Someone handsome. What about Jake Gyllenhaal - or Ryan Gosling. What do each of you think the worst piece of sex advice Rocky has given in the books so far is? Jamie: I’d jump to grabbing someone’s cervix. That’s not good. Or possible. James: When you’ve had a cock transplant, don’t have sex 48 hours afterwards. It might drop off completely. Jamie: And maybe don’t go to the Amazon rainforest to get it done… Alice: A good bit of advice is that if you’re going to have a shed-ton of sex at work, get yourself a designated room for it. The bad part of that advice was that in the book it’s clad in padded leather, which famously isn’t really wipe-clean and does kind of look horrible if you stain it. Maybe make it zinc-lined like the case the Duchess carries. Jamie: But we wouldn’t advise anyone to do anything in any of these books. Toe-curling gags that turned podcast My Dad Wrote A Porno into a big dirty joke followed by Hollywood stars. MOVE over Fifty Shades there’s a spanking new bonkbuster in town that’s got everyone talking. and in fits of giggles. The Belinda Blinked series of books detail the unintentionally hilarious sexual adventures of sales executive Belinda Blumenthal as she sells pots and pans. Podcast stars Jamie Morton (centre), James Cooper and Radio 1 DJ Alice Levine dissect Jamie s dad s attempts at erotic fiction. But rather than the author setting pulses racing, his sex scenes, dodgy grammar and poor grasp of female anatomy have left millions in stitches — as excerpts are read aloud by his SON Jamie Morton in the smash-hit podcast My Dad Wrote A Porno. Launched in 2015, MDWAP now has more than 50million downloads in Britain alone, with fans calling it “the funniest show ever. It has been so successful that today sees it launch its third series following a string of sell-out live shows, and a best-selling book released last Christmas. Launched in 2015, MDWAP now has more than 50million downloads in Britain alone. My Dad Wrote A Porno stars on how to write erotic fiction. Like the other series before it, film-maker Jamie, 30, and James Cooper and Radio 1 DJ Alice Levine — his friends from Leeds University — dissect his 60-year-old dad’s humorously hamfisted attempts at erotic writing. Listeners love Rocky’s descriptions of breasts hanging “freely, like pomegranates”, as well as his tendency to spend far more time discussing Belinda’s sales techniques than anything remotely raunchy. Jamie’s dad, a retired builder, uses the pen name Rocky Flintstone to pebbledash his pages with poor prose. He has three other children and works on his stories in a shed at his home on the south coast before publishing them online. Their work now has a global following which includes Hollywood stars Elijah Wood. Getty Images - WireImage. As well as Star Wars actress Daisy Ridley. Thanks to his son Jamie, his work now has a global following which includes Hollywood stars Elijah Wood and Daisy Ridley — Wood even appeared on a podcast talking about how much he loves MDWAP. Super-fans, known as Belinkers, can even deck themselves out in a range of MDWAP merchandise, available online. It all started a couple of years ago when Jamie’s dad showed him the first draft of a book he had been working on. Most of us would cringe to think of our dad coming up with a naughty novel, but fortunately Jamie saw its comic potential. Jamie’s dad, a retired builder, uses the pen name Rocky Flintstone to pebbledash his pages with poor prose. He says: “Of course I am embarrassed by my dad’s pornography. It’s only natural to be. “However, as the series has progressed I’ve found coping mechanisms. Wine, mainly. “After my initial repulsion, I just had to share it with my mates. It quickly became clear that this book was pure gold. “The world deserved to hear it. As the series has progressed I’ve found coping mechanisms. Wine, mainly. “Our only hope was that we would find a handful of like-minded listeners who found cringe-inducing dad porn as funny as we did. The laughs will keep on coming — Rocky recently polished off the fifth book in his Belinda Blinked series. Jamie says: “He’s in his pavilion as we speak, well his garden shed, bashing them out until he’s called in for tea.

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