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a new book called Everybody Lies . shows how the terms and questions people type into search engines don?t at all match what they claim on surveys. So for example, he told me recently, there have historically been more searches for porn than for weather. But just 25 percent of men and 8 percent of women will admit to survey researchers that they watch porn. In addition to Google, some of his research comes from tape-recorder (rather than self-report studies, which can provide a similar truth-serum effect. I recently spoke with Stephens-Davidowitz about some of the most surprising findings from his book, which spans data on gender norms, prejudice, and romance. We focused on the search data about sex and relationships, because who are we kidding. An edited version of our conversation follows. Olga Khazan: Speaking of porn, I was wondering if you could talk about pornography featuring violence against women. What's surprising about who looks for that, and what might that tell us. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz: It?s a big theme of pornography, but I think the somewhat surprising thing is that it?s far more popular among women than men. It?s one of the most popular genres of pornography for women. Just about every search that is looking for violent porn is roughly twice as common among women than men. Of course the danger is that somehow people will hear this and they?ll think that somehow this makes rape a less horrific crime, which it doesn?t. It?s just a fantasy, of course it doesn?t mean that they want that in real life. Khazan: To me that suggested that there?s a really big distinction between fantasy life and real life, as far as people's sexual desires. Stephens-Davidowitz: Well it?s kind of similar also to horror movies, which are also [popular among women. I don't think women want to be kidnapped in real life, but many women enjoy watching movies featuring kidnappings. Women also search for a lot of lesbian porn, even women who do not consider themselves lesbians. Khazan: So let?s say you stop watching porn and actually go on a date with someone. How can a man tell if a woman is interested in him, and vice-versa. Stephens-Davidowitz: This is a study where researchers gave tape recorders to men and women, heterosexual men and women, who are on speed dates. Then they measured whether the men and women wanted to go on a second date. Then they said: What words do men and women use on first dates that suggest that they want to go on a second date, or that can improve the chances that a partner wants to go on a second date. For the women, a woman frequently signals interest by talking about herself using the word ?I? a lot. A man signals interest by talking in a deep monotone voice. A woman signals disinterest by using hedge words, such as ?sort of, kind of, or ?probably. A man can increase the odds of a woman wanting a second date by laughing at her jokes or showing support, such as saying ?that must have been difficult? or ?that sounds tough. Of course that's not rocket science, but I think a lot of men probably still need to read it. A woman can increase the odds of a man wanting a second date by talking about herself a lot,

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