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the main approach was to ask people. But people lie on sensitive topics such as sex. Sean Illing. You combed through the data — what did it say about us. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. There’s a lot of variation in what people like. Probably 30 percent of people exclusively watch stuff that you would find disgusting. Sean Illing. Why focus on sex? Were you initially interested in this, or did the data lead you to it. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. It’s a book about human nature. Sex is a big part of human nature. Some reviews of Everybody Lies have criticized me for being obsessed with sex. Everybody is obsessed with sex. http://tubetria.mobi/ If they say they're not, they're lying. Sean Illing. You point to some interesting data in the book about sexual orientation. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. It’s clear that a lot of gay men remain in the closet. In places where it's hard to be gay, such as Mississippi, far fewer men say that they are gay than in places where it's easy to be gay, such as New York. But gay porn searches are about the same everywhere. Sean Illing. This doesn’t necessarily tell us how many people are gay in these areas, but it’s a revealing data point. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz.
I look at the data a whole bunch of ways and conclude about 5 percent of men are predominantly attracted to men. Sean Illing. Can you really draw concrete conclusions from this sort of data? People search for things for all kinds of reasons, right. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. I think porn is a pretty good measure of people’s sexual fantasies, even if they never act on them. Sean Illing. What’s your response to people who are skeptical of inferring anything from this stuff. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. I think watching a porn video is a lot more telling than answering a survey question. I agree you should be cautious in how you interpret it, though. Sean Illing. Let’s talk about what married people are up to online. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. The number one question that women have about their husbands is whether he is gay. And these questions are much higher in the Deep South, where my research suggests there are indeed more gay men married to women. Sean Illing. Do you think women are justified in their curiosity here? Is this a question they should be asking more often. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. I think women are too obsessed with their husbands' sexuality. Women are eight times more likely to ask Google if their husband is gay than if he is an alcoholic and 10 times more likely to ask Google if their husband is gay than if he is depressed. It is far more likely that a woman is married to a man who is secretly an alcoholic or secretly depressed than secretly gay. About 98 percent of women’s husbands are really straight. Trust me. Sean Illing. What are husbands secretly worrying about. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. Whether their wives are crazy. Sean Illing. What should husbands be asking Google? What would they ask if they knew what their wives were Googling. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. Whether their wives are more physically attracted to women than men. Sean Illing. Tell me about America’s suppressed sexual desires. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. There are still sexual preferences that people hide today, even in socially liberal places. About one in 100 porn searches are for the elderly. Hundreds of thousands of young men are predominantly attracted to elderly women. But very few young men are in relationships with elderly women. Sean Illing. I’m not sure what I think about that. Any theories. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. It’s interesting. Some sexual preferences I first learned about on The Jerry Springer Show, which featured really poor, uneducated people. People attracted to animals or family members or the elderly. But, now from seeing porn data, I realize those preferences also exist among wealthy, educated people. Wealthy, educated people are more cognizant of contemporary social norms, which means if you have such an attraction, you hide it. Sean Illing. I recall something in the book about the sexual preferences we hide largely for cultural reasons or for fear of being judged. Can you talk about that. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. If you define being in the closet as picking partners based on what society wants rather than what you want, many people are in the closet. For example, I am certain a large number of men are more attracted to overweight women than skinny women but try to date skinny women to impress their friends and family members. Porn featuring overweight women is surprisingly common among men. But the data from dating sites tells us that just about all men try to date skinny women. Many people don’t try to date the people they’re most attracted to. They try to date the people they think would impress their friends. Sean Illing. That says something truly awful about our cultural pathologies. People should be free to like whatever they want, but the pressures to conform are overwhelming — and ultimately unhealthy. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. It’s also inefficient. There are a lot of single men and single overweight women who would be sexually compatible. But they don’t date, while the man tries and fails to date a skinny woman even though he’s less attracted to her. And then there are women who practically starve themselves to remain skinny so their husbands won’t leave, even though their husbands would be more attracted to them if they weighed more. The desire to impress people causes all kinds of inefficiency. Author Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. Sean Illing. All right, give me a couple of unusual desires you noticed — one from men and one from women. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz.

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