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Who would you want to play each of you? Jamie: Maybe Jonah Hill? Alice: Could I be Kristen WiigвЂ¦ in a wig? James: I have no idea. Alice: Someone handsome. What about Jake Gyllenhaal - or Ryan Gosling. What do each of you think the worst piece of sex advice Rocky has given in the books so far is? Jamie: IвЂ™d jump to grabbing someoneвЂ™s cervix. ThatвЂ™s not good. Or possible. James: When youвЂ™ve had a cock transplant, donвЂ™t have sex 48 hours afterwards. It might drop off completely. Jamie: And maybe donвЂ™t go to the Amazon rainforest to get it doneвЂ¦ Alice: A good bit of advice is that if youвЂ™re going to have a shed-ton of sex at work, get yourself a designated room for it. The bad part of that advice was that in the book itвЂ™s clad in padded leather, which famously isnвЂ™t really wipe-clean and does kind of look horrible if you stain it. Maybe make it zinc-lined like the case the Duchess carries. Jamie: But we wouldnвЂ™t advise anyone to do anything in any of these books. http://tubetria.mobi Toe-curling gags that turned podcast My Dad Wrote A Porno into a big dirty joke followed by Hollywood stars. MOVE over Fifty Shades thereвЂ™s a spanking new bonkbuster in town thatвЂ™s got everyone talking. and in fits of giggles. The Belinda Blinked series of books detail the unintentionally hilarious sexual adventures of sales executive Belinda Blumenthal as she sells pots and pans. Podcast stars Jamie Morton (centre), James Cooper and Radio 1 DJ Alice Levine dissect Jamie s dad s attempts at erotic fiction. But rather than the author setting pulses racing, his sex scenes, dodgy grammar and poor grasp of female anatomy have left millions in stitches вЂ” as excerpts are read aloud by his SON Jamie Morton in the smash-hit podcast My Dad Wrote A Porno. Launched in 2015, MDWAP now has more than 50million downloads in Britain alone, with fans calling it вЂњthe funniest show ever. It has been so successful that today sees it launch its third series following a string of sell-out live shows, and a best-selling book released last Christmas. Launched in 2015,
MDWAP now has more than 50million downloads in Britain alone. My Dad Wrote A Porno stars on how to write erotic fiction. Like the other series before it, film-maker Jamie, 30, and James Cooper and Radio 1 DJ Alice Levine вЂ” his friends from Leeds University вЂ” dissect his 60-year-old dadвЂ™s humorously hamfisted attempts at erotic writing. Listeners love RockyвЂ™s descriptions of breasts hanging вЂњfreely, like pomegranatesвЂќ, as well as his tendency to spend far more time discussing BelindaвЂ™s sales techniques than anything remotely raunchy. JamieвЂ™s dad, a retired builder, uses the pen name Rocky Flintstone to pebbledash his pages with poor prose. He has three other children and works on his stories in a shed at his home on the south coast before publishing them online. Their work now has a global following which includes Hollywood stars Elijah Wood. Getty Images - WireImage. As well as Star Wars actress Daisy Ridley. Thanks to his son Jamie, his work now has a global following which includes Hollywood stars Elijah Wood and Daisy Ridley вЂ” Wood even appeared on a podcast talking about how much he loves MDWAP. Super-fans, known as Belinkers, can even deck themselves out in a range of MDWAP merchandise, available online. It all started a couple of years ago when JamieвЂ™s dad showed him the first draft of a book he had been working on. Most of us would cringe to think of our dad coming up with a naughty novel, but fortunately Jamie saw its comic potential. JamieвЂ™s dad, a retired builder, uses the pen name Rocky Flintstone to pebbledash his pages with poor prose. He says: вЂњOf course I am embarrassed by my dadвЂ™s pornography. ItвЂ™s only natural to be. вЂњHowever, as the series has progressed IвЂ™ve found coping mechanisms. Wine, mainly. вЂњAfter my initial repulsion, I just had to share it with my mates. It quickly became clear that this book was pure gold. вЂњThe world deserved to hear it. As the series has progressed IвЂ™ve found coping mechanisms. Wine, mainly. вЂњOur only hope was that we would find a handful of like-minded listeners who found cringe-inducing dad porn as funny as we did. The laughs will keep on coming вЂ” Rocky recently polished off the fifth book in his Belinda Blinked series. Jamie says: вЂњHeвЂ™s in his pavilion as we speak, well his garden shed, bashing them out until heвЂ™s called in for tea. HeвЂ™s not allowed to write in the house. Mum wonвЂ™t let him. Porn loser. Rocky s erotic howlers. Underneath, covered in pubic hair, lay a small and, in Belinda terms, almost pathetic penis. вЂњWe had good old-fashioned sex. it was what we both wanted, and when you get what you want, you feel great. Belinda was immediately led to a hosepipe near the stables where the Duchess stripped her of her torn skirt and tennis shirt and hosed her down. She roughly fondled BelindaвЂ™s t**s and a** in the washing process with a long-handled brush. вЂњAbsolutely, вЂќ Peter replied. вЂњIn fact, this afternoon weвЂ™ve just ordered 3, 000 units of your Oxy Brillo range to get you started, and my purchasing team are looking at other products of yours which will fit into our present range of kitchen utensils. вЂќ вЂњWow!вЂќ Belinda gasped and opened her legs slightly. The signposts were true to their word and Belinda soon found her way to the Horse and Jockey. Belinda lay back in the leather chair and spread her legs wide as requested. Her vaginal lids popped open. He grabbed her cervix. вЂњF*** me, Grigor. Belinda, come down on me and give me my feast. Belinda bent over and pulled the plastic handcuffs over the Duchesses ankles. The Duchess stood and stretched her cramped body. Her nipples hardened with her feeling and were now as large as the three inch rivets which held the hull of the fateful Titanic together. He began using the mud to mark BelindaвЂ™s t**s, a**, mouth and ears with symbolic signs. вЂњSteak, a** and t**s вЂ“ you canвЂ™t beat it. Jim was rubbing her just right and Belinda gave in to nature, not once but twice, before the inevitable blue ejaculation cut across her dreams. Outraged Brazilian club Sport Club Gaucho sack four players after sex video filmed in dressing room goes viral. Brazilian club Sport Club Gaucho have sacked four players after a lewd sex video has gone viral of the players from the club's dressing room. The images reportedly show one of the players performing a sex acts on two of his team-mates, while the fourth member allegedly filmed the video on his phone. The video was viewed by club president Gilmar Rosso, who was left fuming over the footage and revealed to media in Brazil that he had taken immediate action by terminating their contracts.

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